North Texas WW Pam

With Apologies to Clement Clark Moore, and Thanks to Beryl in My Sunday 8:30 Meeting!

The Month After New Year's

'Twas the month after New Year's and all through the house
Not an outfit would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the egg nog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist!

When I got to the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber...)
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared:
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I had NEVER said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt --
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"

So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Ev'ry last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick;
I'll vow to chew only on a long cel'ry stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry...
I'm hungry, I'm lonesone, and life is a bore;
But isn't that what January is for?!?!?!?!?
I'm unable to giggle, I'm no longer a riot --
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet!